The Difference between Love and Lust
Before you guys all google the title…with all due respect, I wrote this before I googled it >_> so as far as I’m concerned…the title is original :P
I was just staring blankly at my laptop’s monitor when I just happened to have the face of the woman I’m in love with popped into my head. I don’t know…just a *pop*, and like a bubble, suddenly disappears as if it never existed. I guess having her face as an image in my mind and the part where the image disappears is the way reality reminds me that fantasy will only be fantasy unless a person makes it real.
Speaking of fantasy…is it okay to, rather, is it morally accepted to fantasize about the person you love? In which you intentionally imagine yourself in various situations in which you and the person you love are the lovers? Is it okay to have those thoughts in your head? I’m a Roman Catholic ***and I don’t know myself if my religion permits to fantasize since the word fantasize is so broad with varying definitions. I mean…if we can somehow divide the word fantasize into two categories (no, not fanta and size Capt. Obvious), it would be of Love and Lust. I googled up a few definitions for both words
- a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; “his love for his work”; “children need a lot of love”
- any object of warm affection or devotion; “the theater was her first love”; “he has a passion for cock fighting”;
- have a great affection or liking for; “I love French food”; “She loves her boss and works hard for him”
- beloved: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment
- a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; “their love left them indifferent to their surroundings”; “she was his first love”
- get pleasure from; “I love cooking”
- a score of zero in tennis or squash; “it was 40 love”
- be enamored or in love with; “She loves her husband deeply”
- sexual love: sexual activities (often including sexual intercourse) between two people; “his lovemaking disgusted her”; “he hadn’t had any love in months”; “he has a very complicated love life”
- sleep together: have sexual intercourse with; “This student sleeps with everyone in her dorm”; “Adam knew Eve”; “Were you ever intimate with this man?”
- lecherousness: a strong sexual desire
- self-indulgent sexual desire (personified as one of the deadly sins)
- crave: have a craving, appetite, or great desire for
As you can see, they have similarities as well as differences. My own definiton would be:
LOVE: an emotion towards a person in which one feels the need to be close to; to have the wish for someone or more to have wellness in life; something that can make you see who can fill the void in one’s heart.
Others may base this on a religious definition. I for one do not quote information from religion and tell the people that it is a FACT. Simply because religion itself is biased on what it thinks is right. If you ask a Catholic if polygamy in marriage is okay, that person would say no. Ask a muslim, and you get a yes. Ask a Catholic if its okay to have more than one God, the catholic would say its blasphemy. Ask a hindu, and you get a yes. Every religion is simply too biased on what each of them think is good.
Here’s an interesting poem titled the same as the blog you are reading
If I were to fantasize about someone…would it be about love or lust? which one is predominant? if you dream about having sex with that someone, will it be of love or lust? the answer can never be exact. For the answer will always be conditional. People would answer something like depends on how you have sex with the person. You might even answer making love is different from having sex. In this day and age…making love and sex are almost the same. The obvious difference would be that in making love, you simply just cherish the person and in having sex is to just objectify the person/s :P
Let us also consider that dreams are not fantasies, but merely the result of our fantasization. Fantasizing is voluntary. Dreaming is involuntary. We cannot control what we dream about, but we can always give a suggestion by fantasizing.
Love has a positive effect on a relationship and even after fights your relationship strengthens because you come closer in making apologies and doing everything in your control to make each other happy.
It is very true that love has a more good in a relationship than lust alone. Love can have lust, but lust cannot have love. So if a person fantasizes having sex with someone, if love is in thought (and so long as the one fantasizing is not objectifying the other person i.e. no porn sex) then MAYBE sex fantasies like that are very much morally and ethically accepted. A fantasy of lust maybe of purely sexual arousal and pleasurable nature. Most people who masturbate know how to do this very well (if I say so myself *winks*). The fantasy may or may not involve multiple partners and/or various methods of sex i.e. fetishes, bdsm, and the likes.
A lustful relationship may not necessary have a negative affect on a relationship but it also may not be as positive as a loving relationship. The partners in a lustful relationship place their needs and wants ahead of their partner’s desires.
I guess we can safely say that love is always positive. That it can only turn bad if it derives itself from a want, and not a need. Love can only be so evil if it were to share the definition of desire. Lust, In my opinion, is a basic human desire for the flesh. Nothing too evil about that. But it is what you do for it that matters. If you fantasize about raping the one you love…that ain’t love no more :(
Thank you for reading my blog :) Have a GOOD ONE!
***By the way, I’m not a I devout catholic as I may have lead you to believe. I’m just a person who understands what is right from wrong without the need of a religion to tell me what to do…but I stand by its ways since having a religion has somehow put this world into a state of stability