The 9th Soul

Angels & Demons The Movie: A reader’s opinion

Posted in entertainment by Fated Blue on May 17, 2009

FOR NON READERS: This movie’s worth your money. Ignorance is bliss after all.

FOR READERS: If you thought the movie adaptation of The Da Vinci Code was raped and just used the juicy parts, consider Angels and Demons raped and MURDERED.

Okay, so here I was, at Robinson’s Galleria’s movie house being all optimistic about the film, being that I haven’t so much as touch the book in 2 years, and I even shared a seat with 3 gay people since the seat was RIGHT SMACK in the middle of the whole movie theatre.

It really excited me to think that all the characters, the symbols, the artifacts, the books, the places, were gonna be portrayed as real life objects. That my imagination would be tested for accuracy. The movie never failed in the actual portrayal of the items and places.

It was in the story that they threw in the “I think this original version in which I made myself as the director and producer of the film is much better than the best selling book by Dan Brown” idea.

First of all: I understand the time constraints of adapting a whole book, which took me about 3 days to finish, into just 3 whole hours. And I applaud the way they did The Da Vinci Code, even if it lacked the information, it still told the story the way it can be summarized. But as for this film (A&D), they f*cking removed the “scandalous” part and retold the story along the middle of the film. I was like “WTF…” and had my brows moved into confusion.

You wanna know what made me do that? alot of things actually.

Spoilers ahead (bet you’re still gonna read it anyway)

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SPOILER START

They removed the entire murder scene and the thievery scene at CERN during the intro

Vittoria and Robert met at a very quiet and common way, with no helicopter nor khaki shorts

The hashashim wasn’t even muslim

The hashashim died in a car explosion because he’s an idiot

The hashashim was a very religious person, that he even said that he refuses to kill Robert Langdon and Vittoria and actually left them UNHARMED for him to escape. So much for a brutal ancient assassin

Also, the word hashashim WASN’T EVEN MENTIONED nor was the background of the name assassin

The hashashim was Roman Catholic and, like I stated above, would only kill if the church tells him to kill

They never actually connected the fact that the hashashim was commanded by the camerlengo and how deep the plot was meant to be

The 4th cardinal didn’t die

Robert Langdon found the last chapel via the 4th cardinal, not by his own intellect thus making him look like an idiot rather than a harvard symbologist

Robert Langdon didn’t fight for his life, which I really wanted to see

Robert Langdon didn’t cry, something I also felt that was needed in the movie

They almost removed the idea that Robert was claustrophobic, since it was only HINTED throughout the film

Vittoria and Robert’s relationship with each other wasn’t even NEAR romantic. Hell, it was just like they were total strangers who just happen to need each other’s help through out the film. Little hints of friendship and romanticism

It was never given weight the fact that a priest can be a scientist at the same time, seeing that they are supposed to oppose each other

It was also never told that the murdered scientist was Vittoria’s biological father

Maximillian Kohler wasn’t even in the film, some leader of the swiss guards replaced his final role…and even in that, they still remade the entire scene. Making the existence of actual surveillance cameras and replacing the hidden one at Max’s wheelchair

CERN wasn’t given the right credit for its name. All they showed was the collision of the LHC particled and some scientists. And that was CERN for the movie. Really now, you’d think they’d explore CERN’s actual headquarters and make the audience see the technology there. They should’ve at least made the audience aware of the fact that the internet is NOT a U.S. invention.

Vittoria wasn’t even kidnapped. Yet in the film, Robert still asked if Vittoria was okay. Which I found rather odd seeing that Vittoria was at the Vatican almost the whole time. And the fact that she was surrounded by agents. Oh yeah, she wasn’t even almost raped or groped for that matter. Not that I wanted to see it, its just that it was meant to add to the character of the hashashim and enhance his villaininess.

The Illuminati diamond wasn’t even shown, which was one of the MAJOR PARTS OF THE WHOLE BOOK

and last but not the least:

THEY REMOVED THE FACT THAT THE CAMERLENGO WAS THE SON OF THE PREVIOUS POPE AND THAT HE WAS INSEMINATED INSIDE THE LOVE INTEREST OF HIS FATHER WHICH WAS A NUN. AND THAT HIS FATHER, WHICH WAS A BISHOP BACK THEN, TOOK HIM IN NOT FOR MERE MERCY BUT FOR THE FACT THAT HIS LOVER DIED IN AN ACCIDENT AND LEFT HIS SON ALONE TO LIVE

That part was COMPLETELY removed.

Too controversial that they wouldn’t want the film to be banned? The fact that a priest and a nun can have a child together out of love SO LONG AS THE ACT OF COPULATION IS TOTALLY ABSENT. And the fact that through the miracles of science, the camerlengo was born without a sin being committed by both priest and nun.

Other things they removed:

The part where Robert Langdon was supposed to use his jacket as a parachute and the fact that the book written by Galileo was converted to tissue paper.

The way the camerlengo was supposed to go nuts and burn himself in public while the cardinals screamed his name

The news reporter that wanted the pulitzer award. I WAS REALLY EXPECTING THIS ONE.

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END OF SPOILER

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