A choice I had to make
I died and God or some other ethereal super being out there decided to pick my lifeless body up, gave me a second chance in life, but told me I’ll live a much a perfectly happier life.
In my perfect and happy life, the creator would make me live in a world without the reason for my grief, of the invisible thorns that prick my heart whilst it beats, and the agony of jealousy and envy. And in that world, the creator then knew that the source of all my sadness was you and because the creator thought I deserve a better life, he opted you out of the new world. You gave me this pain to bear and I died carrying it.
But then I couldn’t go with that choice.
My little miss, despite the anguish I’ve suffered through you, I know that perhaps there’s no way I could ever be happier as I am now. All because I had a chance to live my life, even if only for a while, even if everything mostly went wrong, with you.
It was a chaotic madness we both shared but it was OUR chaos and OUR madness. We fight, we argue, we ignore each other senseless but that’s how we did it. That’s what we both loved doing and we loved each other because of it.
My little miss, I’d rather have our screams and tears speak the truth for us than have our smiles and laughter say the lies everybody wants to hear. And the truth is painful. But love is not love if it isn’t painful.
And I love you.