Cruelty By Fated Blue
It was drizzling atop the mountain
Where God stood to greet himself.
I was praying for success and happiness,
For patience and strength.
No prayers for you yet you were there.
Drenched, fatigued, and with muddy, muddy shoes.
I tried to blink the illusion away,
Rub the mirage out of my eyes.
Yet you stayed. Animated.
You breathed the air like I did.
You held your phone upfront,
Took a step back, and paused.
You saw me and you knew I saw you.
We stared at each other for a long while.
I came down to get closer, to know if you were real.
You didn’t flinch. Your hair was messy and wet.
“Hey…” I said.
“Hey…” you quipped.
Pause. Silent but not awkward.
Then “It’s been a while” I noted.
“I guess…” you agreed.
“How are you?” we sang in unison
Two years since the last day.
The drizzle slowly turned into a hurricane.
We were both like the first tear drop
As we made our way to the bottom
of the battered cheeks of this now crying mountain.
And you grabbed on to my arm
While we made our descent.
Questions. Questions. Answers. Answers.
Lots of smiles, plenty of laughter
We talked about our new lives.
Our successes. Our failures. Our in-betweens.
I related to you and you to me.
You told me about your dumb ex
As if you read my mind.
I tried to act surprised
But you already caught my lie.
One thing led to another.
My heart couldn’t take it anymore.
You noticed so you stopped and stared
At my lonely pair of eyes
Just as we took the final step off the mountain.
Instincts. I leaned in not to kiss
But to whisper. I said “God I missed those eyes.”
Whisper to let the quiet words travel
To your ears and land on your heart.
Whisper so the words would be gentle
Yet forceful and piercing.
You just smiled back, your eyes hinting
Of a beginning we could both make,
Of a future we could both have,
Of a love we both deserved.
The clouds screamed in anger, rebellion
As if to say our meeting is forbidden.
Evil. Apocalyptic. Taboo.
I stared up and saw more rain coming down.
It was bad. Real bad. “We have to hurry.”
But when brought myself back to earth
You were gone.
Not because you left me,
Not because you didn’t care,
Not because you wanted to hurt me.
You vanished because this never happened.
And I was struggling to hold on to a memory
that didn’t exist outside the cruelty of my mind,
The cruelty of my own making.