The 9th Soul

Thinking of Everything and Nothing

Posted in life by Fated Blue on December 22, 2013

I’m planning on taking my revenge on someone at work to a higher level. I seriously did not like what that monster did and it has gone too far. I’ve let that little devil play its games for far too long. I think it’s about time I act and take measures which are required of me. Sometimes I just need to do things myself so things will happen my way.
So go fuck yourself when I’m done with you, you little witch.

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To my dearest

Posted in life by Fated Blue on June 19, 2013

This is going to ruin your day. I don’t know the exact day that you’ll read this letter but you better be prepared to have a bad day. This letter is for that version of you which I liked, the version of you that I wanted to be with, and the version of you that I grew fond of. With that said, I urge you to skip this if you’re not even remotely prepared for such a verbal encounter. You’ve been warned.

I don’t even know where to start. But I’m just pissed off right now. I couldn’t get enough sleep because I kept thinking back to that day you openly discussed with me your concern towards the way I hate you. I replay that moment over and over again, thinking that perhaps I shouldn’t have held back, that I should have told you the contents of this letter right then and there. I was only worried of what would happen next but I apparently can’t help but still brood on it so here I am, writing this goddamn letter to you so I could get a good night’s rest.

I’m pissed off because you’re making it very hard for me to restore the way this department was before things happened. I’ve just about abandoned all hopes of removing the concept of “choosing sides”. But still, I’ve strained to keep the two sides balanced but apparently your lack of effort in correcting the wrong you made has now become too taxing for me to have this hidden from you any longer. To make things better for all of us, I strived to do what I could with the opportunities that came and the influential capability I’ve earned just to keep you on the safe side.

I’m here to tell you what I probably would regret in the end but what’s happening is just too much. I’m not supposed to care but I do because I know what it feels like to be alienated. I know what it’s like to do something you thought was right but wasn’t at all. And I know what it’s like to realize that the thing that I thought was right was only right for me or for a select few. I know the fear that someone is secretly whispering about you, that they’re silently making fun of you and yet they smile at you all the same. I don’t want you to go through such hell even if you do deserve it. It’s not mercy or pity but a sick form of compassion. I’m going to tell you the truth. Not all of it but the ones you need to know.

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I’m in need: A state of confusion

Posted in life, Special posts by Fated Blue on November 12, 2012

I can’t believe it. I think I’ve started falling for this girl. I’ve started day dreaming and it will always be about times with her. I can’t help it; she’s getting prettier by the day and it sucks that I told myself to forget about her. I really wish something, an event or what not, would happen that will somehow bring things to conclusion. A proper ending no matter which side loses or gains. (more…)

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Doubt and perhaps regret, a little or maybe much more.

Posted in life, Special posts by Fated Blue on November 1, 2012

I’ve parted ways with someone since September of this year. No, it’s not as if we went to distant places beyond the reach of mobile technology (if a place still exists). In fact, we still see each other’s shadows, breath the same air, and hear the other’s footsteps on concrete floors five times a week. As with the distance I stated, the distance lies not between our bodies but between our hearts. For we could be as close to each other as the laws of physics would permit but our hearts will always remain to be seen together. Why oh why  you ask? We simply both grew weary of the troublesome relationship we both found vexing. More or less I tried to remedy the situation by means of which are too lengthy to write and of which I’ve grown tired of telling.

There was a day when she wanted to talk about it. I read her text and I felt surprised, confused, and scared even. I didn’t know what to do. But then I started thinking on how much of a fool I’ve been, playing her games, making her feel special, being too nice to her, blaming myself for something I didn’t do in the first place and it dawned on me: I’ve grown tired of it.

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Do not feel sorry for me.

Posted in life, Special posts by Fated Blue on September 29, 2012

Let me play the helpless victim for once guys. I’m usually strong and I always know how to work around emotional stress but I really don’t have anyone to tell this to. So I’m hoping you would cut me some slack here as I tell you a bit of my own loneliness.

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Valerie

Posted in Special posts by Fated Blue on August 17, 2012

This is a letter I gave a to a friend. We had an argument last July 18. I value her over pride so I gave her something plus a letter conveying my emotions to her and how I really felt when she started straying away. I consulted her best friend about what to give her. So I owe her a lot. She helped save a friendship on fire.

I felt really worried on what to do today since she texted me on how she felt like crying when she read my letter and how she invited me over for a little afternoon snack party. I almost didn’t come and wanted to make an excuse not to because I really did feel like she wouldn’t like me there. Then she went over herself and asked me to come over already and she dragged me by the hand. I was so happy I couldn’t resist her offer.

To Valerie, thank you again for being an important person in my life. I wish I could’ve written a better letter and I really wanted to hand-write this if I had a better penmanship. Alas, we can’t have ’em all.

To anyone who is at war with a close friend: Please, a mere bickering shouldn’t replace a life’s worth of friendship. Pride is nothing. I promise. Do something about it before it’s too late or live a life with a regretful mistake.

Your choice.

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